* Richard found the experience of watching Ivy eat mildly arousing. She was clearly enjoying the food, not just picking at it but eating with gusto. It was refreshing to see a woman who wasn’t self-conscious about her appetite. She chatted with his father and Kevin as she ate. She wasn’t being rude exactly but she hardly looked at him during the meal. She avoided his gaze unless he addressed her directly and even then she looked away again quickly. It frustrated him but at least it meant he was free to watch at her without her noticing, or rather without her acknowledging his stare. Kevin and Terence were talking enthusiastically about something or another, but he wasn’t really listening, he was too wrapped up in Ivy. ‘We’ll go back to the Orangery to look at the plans,’ Terence announced when they’d all finished, throwing an arm around Ivy’s shoulders as she stood up. Richard bristled and took a step towards them both. His father could be insensitive at times and he didn’t want Ivy. Jul would be hungry and after a thought a tray appeared with food and drink for all three of us. Jul did not want to eat, but I pushed her and she ate around sobs till she had finished what she was supposed to eat. Part of the time I spent on the bed holding one or both and trying my best to get them to know I cared, but there was nothing I could really say to them.Selene gave me a large sheet of soft material and I used it to cover the girls so they had something to hold onto beside themselves.I hardly knew the dead girls, but I too had to grieve for all my friends that died protecting this planet. First the people taking the ships and then the ones protecting the planet. Thinking about my own losses brought a few tears to my own eyes.An hour later I had to get up. My friends would want me to carry on and kill more Samutz, not grieve this way. Thinking of a few in particular that might want my grief to be shown as I drank to them when I told their family and friends what they and.
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